who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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