one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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