this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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