So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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