shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
