i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
