You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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