I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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