Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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