so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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