so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
