guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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