so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
