I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
