Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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