Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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