saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
