it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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