Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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