I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
