I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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