Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
