I wanna passion pit in your ass
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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