Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize