Already got asked if we're dating
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
