You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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