My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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