Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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