Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
