Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
