I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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