I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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