My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
