i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
