I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
