its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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