what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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