Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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