Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
