I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
