You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
