I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im six kinds of drunk right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
