Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
