I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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