tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
two words...techno handjob
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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