Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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