Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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