Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
