the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
