I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she looked like the before picture.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
