i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
