I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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