i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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