He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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