Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
