ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
