TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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