No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
