i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
