I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
