Someone shit on the floor
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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