Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize