I heard we made out
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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