I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
