I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
